The myth of normal – trauma, illness, and healing in a toxic culture (Book review)

  A BOOK THAT EVERYBODY MUST READ

   This is a book that not only as individuals we desperately need right now, but also the community is aching for the knowledge provided in this masterpiece of a book. This is a book that the world needs.

   It validated my personal experience, made me understand how my psyche was injured (aka childhood trauma), and gave me a road map towards healing; all that without pointing any blaming fingers towards anyone, on the contrary, it enforced my compassion. 

   It completely changed my perspective on countless things in life, opened my eyes to aspects I would’ve never thought existed – or I would but it’d be in the far future –, and confirmed some abstract ideas that have been living rent free in my mind, put there by my – no longer confused – soul. 

   The title couldn’t be any more descriptive of the content, The myth of normal: as in everything that is untrue or unreal, we came – or more accurately adapted – to consider the norm in our personal life or in the life humanity has been leading for decades or even centuries now. 

   This book teaches you in a very scientific way or “an evidence-based method” what trauma actually is and what trauma is not on an individualistic level, how trauma takes place, and how it is basically the root of the vast majority – if not all – of chronic illnesses. Then our very eloquent author takes you on a journey around the aspects of our culture or environment, clarifying how the norm is the ultimate abnormal, and how toxicity has become too well ingrained in everything around us. At that point in the book, you might feel or see the world as a bunch of scarred individuals, intentionally and unintentionally wounding their children and youths, and ultimately building a maimed society. However, after those chapters, Dr. Gabor doesn’t leave you stranded, he leads you through the pathways of healing, and guides you toward a better understanding of yourself and others. Most importantly, he assures you that healing is possible no matter what; no matter how rough the road can get, you can always find your way back to your authentic self; or even more, you can get to know her if you haven’t had the chance to meet her before.

   The author, Dr. Gabor maté, MD., was in his late seventies (now 79) when he started writing this book with his son Daniel. He admits in the early chapters that he himself suffered from childhood trauma and its – mostly – subconscious consequences, and how it kept affecting the way he lived, every aspect of his life, career and family, and how being unaware of his wounds made him unaware of the wounds he unintentionally inflicted upon his kids; this is exactly what impressed me and inspired me, that he doesn’t speak only as an experienced physician or a scientist, but also he is speaking from personal experience, and he has come a long way in his healing journey that he had the courage to write this book with his son, which only means that both of them have found a way to understand each other, without shame, despite the pain. Furthermore, Dr. Gabor began his own journey towards healing in his mid-forties, which made me grateful for two things: 

1. To have the chance to access almost 40 years’ worth of experience, knowledge, and wisdom wrapped in approximately 500 pages, at quite a young age. 
2. To the fact that it’s actually never too late.

   This book will enrich you beyond your expectations, and it WILL change your life, only if you choose to open your heart to such a possibility.

   As a medical student myself and a future MD., I believe that it’s of the utmost importance that this book finds its way to every medical student and practicing physician, especially those in specialties that deal with chronic illness. As it won’t only guide them to heal their traumas – the ones inflicted by medical school and the field included – but also it will widen their scope to understand mind-body unity which isn’t standardly taught as a part of the degree, which in turn will enable them to offer a more effective treatment plans. Additionally, people in Education and in law will be able to help better our world when enlightened by the knowledge offered in this book – as the author explains in the final chapter.

   And finally, this book is the complete opposite to the term “light read”, you’re going to need your full, undivided attention to get the best out of it; and you’ll need a dictionary – I said “eloquent” for a solid reason. I know that I’m going to read this book again at some point in my life; as a farewell for now, here is one of the many quotes I have highlighted:

 “We are blessed with a momentous opportunity. Shedding toxic myths of disconnection from ourselves, from one another, and from the planet, we can bring what is normal and what is natural, bit by bit, closer together. It is a task for the ages: one that can redeem the past, inspire the present, and point to a brighter, healthier future. It is our most daunting challenge and greatest possibility.”